Small Moments

Ascian


Author・s Note: This is just a little piece of fluff that came out over a couple of days. It・s not related to my Earth Arc series, but I just started thinking about what it would be like if Jubilee met Deadpool. Be warned though; I・m terrible at being funny. :-)

Disclaimer: Generation X, Deadpool, and other related characters belong to Marvel. No copyright infringement is intended, and I am certainly not making any money from this.


***

"Alpha 1, this is Ret-Con 5. We・ve got our target in sight. He・s alone, but armed."

"Understood. Move in, but use extreme caution. And remember, the Doctor wants him alive."

"Copy that. Ret-Con 5 out."

The man switched off his head-set, and turned to the small retrieval squad crouched behind him. Giving them a brief once-over, he powered up his laser rifle. The others followed suit, one of them rubbing callused knuckles over the shining police badge pinned to his chest. They all smiled mockingly. New York・s finest, indeed.

"All right team," their leader announced in a heavy whisper. "Time to move in."

***

"My life sucks," Deadpool muttered to himself, pulling a hand from behind his head to remove a stone poking into his spine. He flung the offending rock into the bushes, settling back down into the grass with a sigh. He had been lying there for the past hour, just trying to take a break from his life. Not that this brief interlude into the wilds of Central Park was doing him any good. He still felt depressed.

He caught sight of a butterfly hovering daintily nearby, and he began to pull out his gun to shoot it. No bug was going to look happier than him, no sir-ree. Before he could incinerate the fluttering insect however, the face of a certain Irish beauty filled his vision. She didn・t look happy, and Deadpool smiled sheepishly.

"Hey, Terry," he greeted her. "Wait, what・d ya say? Oh this?" He held up the gun. "Nah, I wasn・t going to shoot anything." He cocked his head, listening. "Whadda ya mean, that butterfly? Come on Terry, ya know me better than that."

The vision before his eyes wavered, Siryn・s soft lips creasing into a frown・oh God, he loved that frown. He loved everything about her, he loved・hey, she was fading out.

"Terry?" Deadpool sat up in the grass, following the mirage his mind had created. "Hey, don・t go! No more attempted butterfly slayings, I promise! Terry?"

She was shaking her head when she finally disappeared from sight, and Deadpool・s shoulders slumped. Hell, even his fantasies were turning on him. Well, there was only one thing to do in a situation like this: Get pissant drunk.

Thoughts of beer and Jack Daniels swam hazily through his mind as he stumbled to his feet. And maybe afterwards, he thought hopefully, I can get into a fight. A nice big brawl with a bunch of hairy, tattooed men named Butch and Ed. Oh yeah. Here I come, bay-bee.

Stretching languorously, Deadpool heard a soft rustling sound behind him and he twisted around, frowning as he took in the sight of four uniformed police officers training laser rifles on him. He could tell without looking that there were several more in the bushes. All of them wore grim smiles on their faces.

"Oh, come on!" Deadpool protested, a definite whine edging into his voice. "At least let me get drunk first!"

"Sorry," their leader said coolly, beckoning with his chin for the others to advance.

Deadpool・s pout of disappointment changed into a disquieting smirk. "Well then, mind if I call ya Butch?"

***

"Jubilee, we・re late. We・re supposed to meet the others in front of the museum in ten minutes, and there is absolutely no way we・re going to make it."

"Jeez, Hayseed. Chill, will ya? I・m taking us on a short cut."

"You call this a short cut?" Paige asked, gesturing wildly at the trees and vines of the city park surrounding them. "We・ve been walking on this trail for more than fifteen minutes. Unless you・ve been hiding some mutant power from the rest of us, I don・t see how we・re going to get there on time. If we get there at all," she added, in a low mutter.

Jubilee remained silent, her expression doggedly stubborn as she continued to trudge down the beaten dirt path.

"Someone・s going to try to mug us again," Paige called, reminding her of the incident that had taken place earlier in the day, when Jubilee had insisted that the two of them head down to Hell・s Kitchen to see if Wolverine was at his apartment for the weekend. He wasn・t, which was perfectly fine by Paige. Personally, the man gave her the creeps, although Sam liked him well enough. Jubilee, for all intents and purposes, adored him.

"Hey, it・s not my fault you・re a walking target," Jubilee retorted, glancing over her shoulder. "・Sides, I・ve seen chipmunks more dangerous than the guys who tried to grab your purse."

Paige shook her head, remembering how the three burly men had scattered at the first sight of Jubilee・s fireworks. "Sometimes, I think you like being in trouble."

Jubilee・s grin was all the answer she needed, and Paige sighed. She was never going on a solo outing with that girl again. Let the boys handle her, if they could. Though the thought of Angelo and Jubilee putting their heads together made her skin crawl. Talk about trouble・

As if to further prove her point, Jubilee・s back suddenly stiffened, and she stopped in the middle of the trail. Paige almost stepped on her heels, taking a step back to give them both some room. She took note of the closed, serious expression on Jubilee・s face, feeling the hairs on the back of her neck rise. She scanned the brush, but saw and heard nothing.

・What・" she began to ask, but Jubilee threw up her hand to quiet her. Paige pursed her lips in irritation, Jubilee taking off down the trail at a run. Gritting her teeth, Paige followed. Jubilee could be a major pain, but if there was a problem, she wasn・t about to let her face it alone.

And it seemed that Jubilee had been on to something after all, Paige realized, as she soon heard sounds of fighting ahead of them. Paige easily caught up to her teammate, and the two of them slowed to a soft jog as they neared the disturbance. The trail they ran on opened abruptly into a clearing of soft grass and trees, and directly in front of them・

"Jeez, is that who I think it is?"

Paige watched in shocked amazement as the man she knew as Deadpool・a mercenary, she thought to herself, recalling a file and picture・fought off an attack by several men. No, wait. Police officers. There were two groups of three, each trying to swarm their nimble target, who continuously dodged their strikes and laser blasts. Well, not all of them. She could make out a few scorch marks on his tattered uniform, but his wounds did not seem to be hindering him. In fact, Paige could hear him shouting, almost cheerfully it seemed, but she couldn・t quite make out what he was saying. Remembering what little she could of his file history, she thought that was probably for the best. Though hadn・t Sam mentioned him once before? Something about Siryn and Deadpool・together・

"He is, like, so outnumbered." Jubilee announced suddenly, breaking through her memories. "We・ve gotta help him!"

Paige blinked. "Jubilee! Deadpool is a criminal, and those men are probably・"

She never finished her sentence, Jubilee suddenly gripping her hand and yanking her to the ground. A red beam of light scorched the air directly overhead, and Paige watched in dumb shock as one of the law enforcement officials leveled a laser rifle directly at them.

"You were saying, Hayseed?" Jubilee muttered, throwing up her hands. She let loose a barrage of plasma bursts, a series of streamers and spheres that hurtled towards the man who had shot at them. They exploded directly in his face and he screamed in pain, dropping his rifle to clutch at his eyes. The weapon hit the ground with a sharp clatter, and Jubilee made an instant beeline towards it.

Paige gritted her teeth, trying to control the hammering of her heart.

Ah・m goin・ to kill you for gettin・ me into this, Jubilee.

She quickly lifted her eyes from her teammate・s retreating back, trying to get a handle on the situation. All of the men attacking Deadpool, and now them, wore police uniforms. But the police didn・t carry laser rifles, and they usually didn・t fire on children for no reason whatsoever. No, she reasoned, entangling her fingers in her hairline and yanking sharply, there was definitely something screwy going on. Pulling a little harder than necessary, Paige felt her skin fall away from her body. Something bullet and laser-proof, she willed. With a little sigh of relief (there was always the fear that yes, this would be the time her body shorted out), Paige welcomed the slick metal surface protecting her. Welcomed it even more, when a laser blast hit her in the stomach and ricocheted off towards the men surrounding Deadpool. They all ducked in surprise, and the mercenary threw her a startled glance. One of the men took that moment to slam the heel of his rifle into Deadpool・s face, and he reeled backwards. Within moments his body was covered by a swarm of uniformed men.

"Yo, Paige! Cover me!" Jubilee shouted, running into the fray of bodies. In her right hand she held the laser rifle she had pilfered, and her left hand sparkled with brightly colored plasma.

"With what?" she yelled back, well aware that her question was falling on deaf, slightly psychotic ears. That・s what you get for hanging around Wolverine・s protégé, she thought sourly. Well, if Jubilee wanted cover, she・d give it to her. Her mouth set in a thin line, Paige raced after her friend, plowing into the field of men. Her initial charge sent several of them flying, the heavy metallic frame of her body allowing her enough leverage to level the playing field, literally.

Jubilee whooped loudly from her right, and from the corner of her eye, Paige saw her let free a barrage of plasma bursts directly into the faces of the people grappling with Deadpool. She didn・t get to see anything else though, as several people suddenly tackled her, their combined weight forcing her to the ground.

"Hold her down!"

"Shit, what is she?"

"Who cares? We・ll bring her in for the Doc to look at."

Paige bucked viciously, fighting back with renewed strength as their words lent much needed desperation and adrenaline to her muscles. Panting with the effort, she managed to land an elbow strike to the gut of the man hanging on to her waist. He let out a grunt of pain, his grip around her slacking. It was enough, and she twisted out of his arms, climbing back to her feet. That still left the others though, and Paige found herself staring down the barrel of a laser rifle. Sure, the beams usually bounced off・but at point blank range?

"Ooo! Let me try!" A sickeningly cheerful voice said from the right. A second later, the nose of a plasma gun・a happy face indiscriminately carved into the barrel・pressed itself into the temple of the man training his rifle on Paige. Paige・s gaze flickered up to Deadpool・s face. Part of his mask had been ripped away, and what little she could see of his skin made her swallow heavily. She hadn・t realized・

The sounds of thuds from behind・like bodies hitting the earth・distracted her, and Jubilee appeared from behind her teammate with a smugly triumphant look on her face. Her eyes narrowed, however, as she saw the gun still trained on Paige・s face, and she instantly nudged her own stolen weapon into the assailant・s groin. She grinned fiercely as the man paled, turning her head to wink at Paige. Paige swallowed heavily, and moved cautiously away. This could get ugly.

"Don・t ya think you・re hitting the guy a little low, kid?" Deadpool asked mildly, noting where her gun was pointed.

"Ya got a problem with the way I deal with people?" Jubilee retorted, pressing her firearm even further into the man・s nether regions. A whimper escaped past his lips. "This creep put a gun in my friend・s face."

Deadpool held up his free hand. "Hey, I・m cool. You want to burst his balloons, go right ahead. I just got a few questions, and then he・s all yours." The mercenary trained his eyes on the man under their guard. "So," he said brightly, "What am I in for, this time?"

Silence.

"I see. Let・s have a look at your options, shall we? A: You don・t answer my questions and I blow your head off. B: You answer my questions, and the chick blows・your head off. Personally, I would prefer to go quick and painless, but hey, some guys are into that whole sado-machiostic, dominatrix, spank-me-mama kind of thing. In fact, you look like the type of guy who probably shacks up at night with one of those biker chicks that live on fourth and Densmore・you know, the ones that hang Christmas lights from their body piercings, and wear chain link br・"

Paige coughed, while Jubilee merely appeared speculative. Deadpool gave them a "what?" look, and shrugged. "Sheesh," he said. "Talk about leading a sheltered life."

"So," he continued, turning his attention back on his assailant. "What・s it gonna be, huh?"

More silence.

"This is getting us no where," Paige complained, crossing her arms across her chest.

Jubilee, who had been watching attentively for the past several minutes, suddenly grinned. Paige grimaced, recognizing the somewhat feral look in her eyes. She suddenly felt very sorry for their captive.

Standing on her tiptoes, Jubilee placed her lips beside the man・s ear, and began to whisper furtively. Deadpool frowned, leaning closer. Paige did the same, but the only words she caught were "peel" and "feed".

The man・s face drained of color though, and Deadpool jerked away.

"Ew!" he squealed, squirming convulsively. "You・re even sicker than me!"

Jubilee smiled sweetly, and Paige decided that she really didn・t want to know. Best to preserve her innocence for as long as she could.

"You can ask him your questions," she told Deadpool, her voice a trifle smug. "He・ll answer you now."

"Uh, yeah. Thanks," he said, still looking at her with wild eyes. "Ok, so let・s try this again. Who・s after me this time? You・re no cop, that・s for sure."

The man licked his lips, looking nervously at Jubilee. "I work for Department H. They ordered us to capture and bring you back to Canada. Seems they have some questions."

"Like what?"

"That information was classified. My team was told only to bring you back, alive."

"How sweet," Deadpool mused. "Sounds like the old boys miss me."

"Department H?" Jubilee asked sharply. "Aren・t they the dudes that handled the Weapon X project?"

"Ya know your stuff, kid," Deadpool said.

"Department H royally screwed one of my best friends," she told him.

"Oh? Do tell."

Paige interrupted before Jubilee could launch into a long-winded story about Wolverine. "What are we going to do about this guy and the others?" She asked, gesturing at their prisoner and the men knocked out cold on the ground around them.

Deadpool shrugged. "I was going to just shoot them, but if you have any better ideas, feel free to let me know."

"Uh," Paige stuttered slightly, taken aback by his matter-of-fact attitude. "You could just let them go or call the real police."

"Yeah, right. I let them live, next thing you know I・ll be getting all kissy-kissy with anyone who comes to smack me around. I don・t think so." Deadpool began to power up his plasma rifle. "Ya might want to take a few steps back, girls. This is going to get messy."

"Wait a minute," Jubilee piped up. "You owe us for helping out your ass."

"My ass didn・t need any help, thank you oh-so-much." He paused thoughtfully, twisting around to examine his backside. "I・m not sagging, am I? Maybe when I get home I・ll try to crack a few walnuts with my butt cheeks・make sure I・m still in shape."

"We・d put in a good word with Theresa Cassidy," Paige remarked quietly, taking a chance on the one thing she knew about him that might push his buttons.

Deadpool・s head rocked up, and he narrowed his eyes. "How do you know Terry?" he asked softly. Paige felt her heart flutter under the full force of that gaze. There was something・not quite right in those eyes. Something sharp and dangerous.

"Her dad is our headmaster," Jubilee told him, glancing sharply at Paige.

Deadpool paused for a long, quiet moment. Then, with movements so fast she couldn・t follow them, he struck their captive・s face. The man went completely slack, and he crumpled to the ground.

"What?" he asked innocently, taking in their shocked expressions. "He・s still alive."

Paige snorted, bending down to double check. His pulse felt strong beneath her fingers, but his face was a bloody wreck. Deadpool ignored the man at his feet, staring intently at the two girls.

"So you・ll talk to Terry for me?"

He was so much like a lonesome puppy, that for an instant Paige almost felt sorry for him. Before she remembered his cold-hearted behavior, that is.

"We will," she told him, "Though if she isn・t on speaking terms with you now, I doubt it will make much of a difference what we say."

"Well spank me for trying," Deadpool retorted hotly. "Just tell her I did some good this time, will ya? Tell her I・m trying to remember what she taught me."

"No problem, dude," Jubilee said. "We・ll tell her you・re cool."

"And that I・ve got a sunny disposition?・・

"You・re pushing it," Paige told him.

Jubilee smirked, ignoring her teammate. "I・ll see what I can do," she told Deadpool in stage whisper, holding up her hand to hide her mouth.

"You・re okay, kid," he nodded approvingly. "Twisted, but okay."

"That・s just how I like it," she told him proudly.

"If you both are done with the small talk," Paige interrupted pointedly, "We should really be going."

Deadpool threw his arms up in the air. "Sheesh, kid. Ya really know to ruin those small moments, don・t ya?" He began to walk away from them, picking his way over the unconscious agents from Department H.

"See ya!" Jubilee called to his retreating back.

"Yeah, whatever," he mumbled back.

Jubilee stared after him for a moment longer, and then turned to face Paige. She gave her a long, measuring look, and Paige was not quite sure what to make of her friend・s expression.

"What?" she asked.

"Nothing," Jubilee replied. "Better change before we get back to the others, Hayseed."

"Oh, yeah." Paige reached up to her hairline, and pulled sharply. Within a few seconds she had shed her skin and was standing once again in her street clothes, soft flesh intact.

"Yo, girlie! The next time ya try that trick, warn me, will ya?" Deadpool shouted from the other side of the clearing. He held a hand over his mouth, and he looked like he was going to be sick.

"There isn・t going to be a next time, Deadpool!" Paige called back, meaning it. She had to admit to herself though, there was something just a little endearing about the mercenary.

Deadpool smirked, watching the girls turn and walk away. As long as they were his link to Theresa Cassidy, there would always be a next time.

 

The End